


choke down the feeling (like a prayer for which no words exist)

by mestariteos



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s03e03 Bad Day at Black Rock, Implied Underage Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, M/M, POV Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 02:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13021467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mestariteos/pseuds/mestariteos
Summary: a scene from 3x03 'bad day at black rock'. while sam and dean find weaponry and curse boxes tucked away in john’s locker, sam also finds memories. title from the amazing poem 'you are jeff' by richard siken.





	choke down the feeling (like a prayer for which no words exist)

sam and dean open john’s storage locker. they wander through the dust, spy bloody bootprints and a snapped tripwire. guns and ammo and goddamn _landmines_ are stashed in here, alongside boxes and crates and other occult-ish looking things. dean picks up a trophy, the figurine atop it kicking a soccer ball. **1995,** reads dean. **no way,** sam exclaims. **that’s my division championship soccer trophy! i can’t believe he kept this.** dean makes a quip about john keeping it as a vestige of sam’s masculinity, spies his first sawed-off and moves away. sam stays where he is, holds his trophy for a moment, weighing it in his hand. remembering.

 

_sam is twelve years old, and he’s walking across another school stage in yet another school, another county, state, false backstory. the phys ed coach is standing in the middle of the stage, a smile on her face and a trophy in her hand. this isn’t the first prize sam has won, and it won’t be the last, but it’s the first sports prize that he’ll have the pleasure to take back to the motel. neither john nor dean are here, of course, but when school’s over and he’s at the motel he’ll show dean with pride, maybe even show john if he’s back from the bar that he’ll inevitably hit up. the thought of dean and john makes him slow for half a second, worry shoot through his veins to his heart; they’re on a hunt, and if it turns nasty and sam’s not there as backup…  
he’s reached the middle of the stage, reaches out to shake the coach’s hand and accept his trophy. he turns to face the crowd and the photographer with a perfunctory smile – and freezes. far in the back of the gym, past proud parents and bored students, an all-too familiar leather jacket, a sharp grin, dusty hair gelled into a perfect mussed style. sam’s smile becomes genuine, happiness mingled with surprise and pride. he ignores the audience, ignores the photographer, and grins straight at dean. dean smiles back, lifts twin thumbs-up. _ **good job, kiddo _,_** _dean mouths across the room. **proud of you.** the coach murmurs for sam to return to his seat, and sam walks off the stage in a giddy daze. dean came, dean is here, and that makes sam happier than he thought he could be._

 

sam slips out of his reverie, focuses on the task ahead of them. they examine shelves of boxes – curse boxes, going by the symbols etched on them. **one box is missing,** sam says. they take one last look at the locker, mentally cataloguing things they could come back and stash in the impala. sam and dean walk out to the carpark, dean apparently oblivious to sam leaving memories behind with a figurine and a plaque sitting on a dusty tabletop.


End file.
